Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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