He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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