So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
His hands were made for my vagina.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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