sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
