I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
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I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
we're so committed to being not committed
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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