Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
