Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
