you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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