He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
