I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize