you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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