I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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