You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize