And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
