you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize