the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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