did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
