I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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