Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize