I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
