i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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