used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
