I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
