Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently the secret to your success is patron
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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