upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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