I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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