nutella sex= disaster
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
