So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
