i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
