Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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