While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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