So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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