I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize