i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
