remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
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