Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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