idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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