If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
