i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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