I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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