I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
