Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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