if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am midnight drunk by noon
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Randomize
