i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Are we still banned from the library?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
