Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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