he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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