His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
