I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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