you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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