i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
