My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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