I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
