And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
