She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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