i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
This is not my ceiling
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
