you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.