didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
