am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
