She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
