Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
