Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dick very happy bro
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
